This summer break has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, and a tad stressful. On day two of being home with the boys, I received an email asking me to apply for another position within the district, but at the district office, and then hours later received an email from our local community college inviting me to interview for an office manager position that I had applied to months ago (and figured they had already filled). I ended up not getting the job at the community college, but was offered the position at the district office.
I’m SUPER GRATEFUL for these opportunities, as they both meant a huge step towards achieving our family goal of financial stability-and no longer having to live paycheck to paycheck (what does that even feel like??!). BUT, I absolutely LOVE where I work, and all of the people I work with-all 60+ of them. It’s so hard to consciously leave a working environment that has been nothing but great to me (and my family), and take a chance on something completely unknown. I’ve been spoiled rotten with amazing co-workers, supportive supervisors, and doing work that I truly enjoy.
On the other hand, the reason I was initially looking for another job is 1) needing to make more money, and 2) needing a little more of a challenge in what I do. My current position as office manager was stressful at times, and at the beginning truly hard to get a grasp on, but after a few months it seemed like I was just pushing papers around. Granted, those papers were important and made big things happen that mattered to our staff, teachers, and students, buuuuuuuut, not necessarily a job where I felt I was working to my full potential.
The other stressful thing about this change is that the new position is year-round. I know, I KNOW-that’s what most adults in the real world have, haha. But, I’ve been spoiled and gotten used to spending 5-6 weeks home with Jake, and now Josh also, during the summer. It means that August and September are super stressful financially, since those are unpaid weeks off, but the time I’ve gotten to spend at home has been truly wonderful. By no means are my summers at home all rainbows and butterflies-I find motherhood to be a much more challenging job than any professional job I’ve had elsewhere. My first summer home, when Jake was just under a year old, was HARD. My second summer we were in the middle of moving so I spent most of our summer packing our apartment and unpacking into our new home. My third summer home as a bit of a shit show-I was on an extended maternity leave so Josh was just three months old, and I was trying to potty train Jake, move him to his own bed, and take his binkie away. It wasn’t fun. Did I mention Josh was three months old?
Last summer was magical. I feel like Jake and Josh are finally at an age where summer’s can be so much fun, and it’s so hard to let that opportunity go, even if it means a life-changing financial opportunity. My heart breaks a little to think that these are my last summer days home with the boys-but I guess I should just be thankful that I’ve had them at all. I know we’ll get vacations and holidays-but it won’t be the same. I won’t get to plan random activities just because, or spend our days doing whatever we want.
But I guess change is good, right? I’m nervous and excited and terrified and slightly heartbroken. To all of my La Paz family-it’s things like these that make me so thankful for Facebook! Please don’t be strangers!