An old college friend was coming through town today on his way to a work meeting, and he messaged me yesterday to see if we could meet up for lunch. We figured out the logistics of time and place (he met me right around my work because I wouldn’t have enough time on my lunch break to meet him near his meeting), and got to catch up today about our little boys, work, and some serious discussions about the socio-economic challenges faced by our Latino youth (nerd alert, I know, but it was awesome to talk to someone about this). It really meant a lot to me that he thought of me when he knew he was going to be in the area, and went out of his way to accommodate my location so we could meet up.
And earlier today two friends from law school checked in via gchat to see when we could meet up.
This all really made my day.
See, I’m usually the planner of things. I contact people to figure out what day works best between everyone’s busy schedules (which can be challenging) so we can meet up and catch up on life. After having Jake, I find that I don’t have as much time or energy to dedicate to these efforts, and I was a little bummed to see that in some situations, if I didn’t make the effort, it just didn’t get done.
Jeff always reminds me that people leave planning things to me because I always do them, and they probably don’t want to step on my toes. Which I get. But sometimes it’s nice to see other people make an effort: it makes me feel like people want to hang out with me, they’re not just hanging out because I asked them to, haha.
A related issue is just getting older and growing further apart from some friends as our lives become more busy with adult responsibilities and parenting, or as personal interests change. The thought of growing more and more distant from some friends is truly saddening. In some cases it’s just an inevitable part of life: you can’t be super close friends with everyone you meet or have the time to cultivate friendships like I did when I was 20, and that’s something I’ve slowly come to terms with, haha.
Other friends, though, are friends that I know will be in my life forever, but maybe just with longer hiatuses in catching up than I would like. And I just hate the thought of having a friend that I truly love and care about, and yet don’t know the slightest thing about what’s going on with them and with their lives. It seems weird to be so close to someone emotionally, and yet so far removed from what their lives are.
I don’t really having any kind of conclusion for this, haha, as I’m still learning and trying to figure out how to deal and process with these situations in this new stage of my life. I think that this year I’ll try to spend some time reconnecting with good friends that I haven’t been able to keep in touch with as much as I’d like. And maybe after that I’ll have some more insight on this topic :)
*Couldn’t decide on my title. It started as “Friendly Visits,” but then my post transformed into a wider conversation about friendships, rather than just my lunch visit. So this popped up, but it seems misleading. Or not. I just can’t decide!!