So when I wrote that I didn’t really have an issue with not having a dad, I must have been lying to my 8-year old self.

My mom recently found a letter I wrote to Santa Clause when I was 8. Warning: it starts funny, and then I make you feel like an a-hole for laughing at my letter. Ha.
I’m leaving in all original grammar mistakes, which are embarrassing, but really make the letter pretty amazing.
11-21-91 (Please pay attention to the date: as of 8-years of age, I was not yet a procrastinator)

Dear Santa I’v made a list of the things I want for Christmas. Ther are some big things I want. (I kinda love how I give Santa a heads up)

1. The icecream maker (not just any ice cream maker…THE ice cream maker)
2. A new bike. (I got the bike when I was in Guatemala…hilarious story to be told someday about how some drunkard tried to steal it from me)
3. Some papper (reguler with lines. Coler, tiping papper) (translation: paper, color, typing. Slightly pathetic)
4. A new book

5. The movie “home Alon (this one is crossed out. I must’ve realized I was asking for too much, and this is what I thought I could live without)
6. The book “Bingo”

7. A blak hat to go out (first of all, I couldn’t spell black? REALLY?! Secondly, where exactly was I “going out” that I needed a hat?)
8. A cook book for kids

9. Monoply for kids

10. A new suite (I would reiterate my second comment from #7)
11. A diyerie with a lock (Diary. A diary. And a lock to make sure my mom stayed out of my shit)
12. Jinga (I think I still own my Jenga. It’s currently in storage)
13. encyclopedia (1) how many 8-year old’s ask for this? 2) I couldn’t spell “black” or “diary,” but I could spell encyclopedia. Interesting)
back —-> (Yes, I let Santa know there was more in the back of the page)
Baby (crossed out)
maybe (crossed out)
Maybe (with arrow pointing back up to the first line) if you can my dad
(you know, no big deal, but maybe, perhaps, if you have time, you could kidnap my dad and bring him to me)

Have a verey nice Christmas.

Love Alexandra Maria Hannson Beltran (I couldn’t even spell my last name right)
My mom told me she felt guilty about never sending the letter out. All I have to say is, THAT’S WHY I NEVER GOT MY DAD FOR CHRISTMAS!