I remember the days, and I remember them well. I had made it through the initial stages of waking up, pulling some clothes over my head, pretending to brush my teeth, getting my backpack ready, and finally making my way to the kitchen. Drag my feet over to the pantry…pull out the cereal box…a free mini pez dispenser! A free super duper cool spoon! A free watch, action figure, trading card, or sticker! The possibilities were endless. And my excitement, extreme.

I also remember my mom yelling at me whenever she caught me digging through the cereal box…was I really supposed to wait patiently for the day it would just drop onto my bowl while I served my cereal? I mean, there’s a TOY in there somewhere! And I can have it TODAY! So I would grab my cereal box, walk over to the dinning room table. Look left. Look right. Coast is clear. And…dig. My favorite was when they were on the side of the box, it always made things easier. Tell me I’m not the only one…

I’m not sure when it happened, but they stopped giving toys in cereal boxes. I’m sure it was because of a choking hazard or something, but the point is, they took away my cereal toys. And now, almost two decades later, they want to take away my happy meal toys. The argument is “that using toys to entice children instills bad eating habits and puts kids at higher risk of risk of developing obesity, diabetes, or other diet-related diseases over the course of their lifetime.” Well…maybe, but that’s why you have parents, right? To say, “no, no happy meal today,” or “no, we’re getting apple slices instead of fries,” or “no, we’re eating dinner at home today.” I mean, since when is McDonald’s supposed to be a regular part of a kids diet? Not gonna lie, one of my favorite parts about Sundays was going to McDonald’s after church. Because that was the only time we had it, if at all. It was called a special occasion, not a daily dinner. I know people may have more hectic schedules these days, with most homes having both parents working and therefore less time to cook at home, but there are other alternatives to having McDonald’s four times a week.

What are we all going to do now without the worthless pieces of plastic and paper? What are we supposed to fill our car side doors and random shelves with now? What are you supposed to sell for ten cents at garage sells? And how on EARTH can you call a Happy Meal a Happy Meal without a toy inside? We’re doomed, I tell you, doomed.